Why is there always a vacany for a Finance Director?

If the FD is really good, he will be headhunted - leaving a vacancy 

If the FD is really bad, he will be fired - leaving a vacancy 

If the company prospers the FD may well land the top job - leaving a vacancy 

If the MD dies or retires only the FD has sufficient familiarity with all aspects of the business to take over - leaving a vacancy 

If the company is doing badly, the FD will know first and will leave before anybody else finds out - leaving a vacancy 

 (According to Peter Vaines and Roger Nuttall in their book "The Bottom Line")

What happens when professionals make a mistake?

A doctor's mistake is buried A lawyer's mistake is imprisoned A pharmacist's mistake is poisoned An architect’s mistake becomes a 'feature', An IT expert’s mistake is blamed on 'user error' But, an accountant's mistake is... ....adjusted, corrected and reconciled!

10 reasons accountants make great friends

1. They're an asset that never depreciates 
2. They can work out how to split the bill after a meal (and could do so before apps were developed to resolve this important life skill) 
3. You can always count on them 
4. They make everything balance and give credit where it's due
5. They're used to deadlines – and will still turn up to your party on time
6. They won't judge your spreadsheet, but they might colour-code it.
7. They're used to balancing competing priorities – like beer versus wine.
8. If things go wrong, they'll calmly say: “Let’s see where the numbers don’t add up.”
9. They believe in full disclosure – unless you ask how much they really love spreadsheets
10. They appreciate long-term value – so they’ll never take you for granted

A good deal?

 A friend proudly told me that he no longer needed his accountant as he'd decided to go the DIY route.

I'd previously said I couldn't help as it's a long time since I gave anyone tax advice. 

"No problems" he replied. I've bought a couple of books that I'm sure will tell me all I need to know. 

"I'm pleased for you" I said, having long since given up on getting him to appreciate the advice he would get from a decent accountant - rather than the cheapest one he could find each year.

"What books are they?" I asked.

"One is 'Accounting for Dummies', the other one is 'Tax saving strategies for consultants'. They were reduced to £8 each or two for £19".

Says it all really!

He would have been a true financial wizard

Back when I was Chairman of the ICAEW Tax Faculty I was also on The Institute's Council. I well recall that during one Council conference we discussed what the Institute could do to make chartered accountancy more sexy and appealing as a career option. 

One of the best suggestions I can recall was to encourage a then relatively new author, JK Rowling, to change the direction of a series of books she was writing about a boy wizard. 

We thought it would be great if we could encourage her to end the series with Harry Potter graduating from Hogwarts and going off to start a career as a chartered accountant. 

We thought that might inspire thousands of potential financial wizards to follow his lead. 

I never read the last book or saw the final film but I know it didn't happen. Is it too late to petition that the forthcoming new tv series adopts this idea? 

Personalised number plates for accountants

Years ago I recall David Winch of Accounting Evidence telling me how proud he was of his number plate that incorporates his qualification initials FCA.

I also recall an auditor whose number plate was AUD 1T and a tax specialist who had TAX 1NG

But my favourite was the ex-Inspector of taxes who had a number plate S99 TMA. He told me loved parking next to cars at accounting conferences and other events, that had VAT or TAX or CA on their number plates just to give them an unsubtle reminder.

A dozen laws of accountancy that weren't covered in your studies

1. Trial balances don’t. (Not always, anyway)
2. Working capital does not. (Work, that is)
3. Liquidity tends to run out. (Faster than you think)
4. The bottom line is only the tip of the iceberg. (What lies beneath matters more)
5. Depreciation is inevitable. (For assets and accountants)
6. Forecasts are mostly fiction. (But we make them anyway)
7. Profit is an opinion, cash is a fact. (Ask any struggling business)
8.        The auditor is always right. (Especially when they say you're wrong)
9.        A budget is a wild guess wrapped in spreadsheets
10.        There is nothing more permanent than a temporary account
11.        An accountant is a person who will explain that you did not make the money you thought you had
12.        If in doubt, reconcile. (Then reconcile again)